Emotional spending on funerals and memorials is definitely a thing
It is very easy to imagine and understand why emotional spending on funerals happen. The loved ones left behind want to make the same lasting impression the decedent made on them to show to visitors how amazing they were when alive and among them. We get it. We’ve done it, too.
But, we also know that if only we had taken the time to think about that difficult topic in advance to plan out the cost and major details – without the pressure of time and the weight of emotion and grief – how the memorial would still be so effective, but the emotional and financial cost would be so much less.
Oh, don’t take our word for it. Here is recent academia study that puts into a more scientific framework what is written above:
“Wanting to shield loved ones
Caring also motivated the people who preplanned their own funerals by minimizing their costs. Most people who had preplanned their funerals had planned a funeral for a family member in the past and wanted to shield their loved ones from the cognitive and emotional experience they had endured. Plus, spending less on their own funeral meant that more of their estate would end up going to support their surviving family members, providing a way for them to care for their family after death.
Whether it’s a large, formal funeral or something simple, the effort and expense expended by the planners is an act of caring for their loved ones. Whitley said those who market funeral services need to understand that motivation if they want to continue to meet their clients’ needs.”
Source: https://news.uga.edu/caring-emotions-motivate-funeral-spending/
You understand yourself better than anyone. You want to protect your loved ones more than anyone. So, take that next step and contact a counselor.